Yang x Pineapple x Weiss
by God Emperor Penguin
Summary: Yang decides to enlighten Weiss on how to properly clean a pineapple.


**Summary:** _Yang decides to enlighten Weiss on how to properly clean a pineapple._

 **Yang x Pineapple x Weiss**

"What is this?"

Weiss held up an innocuously fruit with spikes.

"It's a pineapple, princess. Ain't you never seen one?"

"No. I don't eat peasant fruits. _Hmpf_! Why exactly do you keep such a dangerous fruit around? Those spikes look like it could poke an eye out!" Weiss examined the fruit carefully, carefully pacing around the dorm. Ruby and Blake had gone off for a library study session but Yang blew it off and Weiss did not need the extra studying.

Yang laid on her stomach.

"You really don't know what a pineapple is?"

"No. Obviously not."

Weiss crossed her arms. Her hair was down and she flipped it as a sign of dismissive arrogance.

"Well... you know the legend about pineapples right?"

"What legend?"

Weiss' eyes widened in curiosity before she retreated with nose in the air. "Obviously some silly joke, I'm sure."

"No not at all! It's the secret to cleaning the pineapple and becoming the fairest maiden in the land."

"Fairest maiden in the land..."

Weiss' thoughts wandered to the power of having beauty that surpassed that of her sister Winter.

"Yeah! You'll be more beautiful than anyone..."

"Anyone..." Weiss' lips quivered at the thought of surpassing her sister. "Fairest in the land..."

"So, interested?"

"Hmpf! I'll entertain your story."

"Okay, so you got to eat the pineapple."

"Simple," Weiss shrugged.

"But first we got to peel off the skin."

"Let me go get my sword-"

"No no no! No sword! No sword! Nope! No tools!"

"What? Then how do we even get this open? Do we drop it off a roof?"

"Nope."

"Smash it against a rock?"

"No tools, remember?"

"Okay... do we do it by hand?"

"Close!"

Weiss sighed. "Okay, how do we peel this pineapple?"

"You use your _sphincter ani externus!_ **"**

"My what?"

"Your butt hole muscles!"

" _My what?_ "

Weiss stood in cold sweat and shock. Was Yang serious? She had to use her butt to peel this thing?

"Yep! So it's easy... we just take the pineapple and shove it!"

"S-shove it?"

"Yeah! Shove it!"

Weiss was too terrified to ask where.

"A-and if we do shove it... will I become the fairest in the land?"

"Oh yeah, no doubt," Yang nodded eagerly.

Weiss looked at the pineapple. It was pretty big.

"You sure? Are you sure you're not lying to me?"

"Uh... do you want to fairest in the land or not?"

"Of course I do want to be-"

"Okay, so bend over the bed and drop the panties because this pineapples getting shoved in!"

Weiss felt her knees grow weak. Nervously she eyed the pineapple, knowing that this fruit was her ticket to greatness beyond measure. If she was the fairest in the land then perhaps then her father would see her as worthy - or at the very least better looking - than Winter.

"O-okay then..."

Weiss walked over to her bunk.

Bending over, she lifted her gown and slide her panties down.

"You might want to hold onto the bed for support, ol' chap," Yang said.

Weiss didn't see Yang grinning from ear to ear with pineapple in hand.

"As you s-say," Weiss said pressing her hands onto the bed.

"So Weiss, don't look back okay? If you do, it'll bring bad luck."

"Th-that's fine," Weiss nodded. She didn't want to look back anyways.

"Well, we don't have time to lube this up so this is going in vanilla, baby."

"Wait what?"

"Clench your teeth, princess!"

"Wait! Yang! Don't you have butter or some- _EEEEEP_!"

Pineapple entry confirmed.

Rigid spikes rubbed against her sensitive inner flesh. She felt her cheeks gripped by one of Yang's hand as she grunted.

"It's just the tip!" Yang exclaimed.

" _That was just the tip!?_ "

Yang paid no heed to Weiss' complaints.

"It's tearing! I feel it tearing! Yang stop!"

The pineapple was become lubed, with Weiss' rear juices and blood and torn flesh.

"Stop talking Weiss! You'll bite your tongue!"

Somewhere along the next few seconds Weiss bite her tongue several times. The strength in her knees were gone and Weiss was slumped over the bed. Her soft tush raised into the air as Yang exerted all the force in her mighty mass or biceps and forearms to bring the pineapple fruit into the depths of Weiss' virgin colon.

"Yang! Stop! It hurts!"

"Weiss! Just bite the pillow! Don't look! It'll only make it worse!"

Taking heed of Yang's advice Weiss grabbed a pillowed and buried face and teeth into it while clutching it for dear life.

Yang grunts filled the room. She worked meticulously and without rest for several minutes.

Weiss withstood the pain.

This pain was nothing.

She had to do this, this pineapple would not best her. Tears streamed down her eyes as Weiss' thoughts drifted to that of her childhood. Innocent days in the park with her parents. Breakfast with her beloved sister-rival, Winter. The occasional dead faunus assassin found dead on her doorstep. All of those things filled Weiss' mind as Yang continued to pump the pineapple ruthlessly into Weiss without regard for her feelings.

 _Mother! Father! Sister! I do this for you! I do this for Schnee! I do this for our family! Our company! I do this for me, Weiss Schnee!_

"Okay Weiss! It's almost all the way in! But this is the thickest part of the pineapple! You got to bite down hard, okay? Weiss you hear me?"

Weiss whimpered an affirmative.

Her knees had long buckled, as Weiss' lithe body laid slumped onto the moisten bed.

She felt her bladder loosen and her bed became soiled.

This was a minor challenge.

Weiss Schnee can...she will... endure!

"Okay! On three... one... two... _three!_ "

Weiss unleashed a scream that pierced the heavens.

" _Weiss_! Are you okay!?" Ruby slammed the door and entered the room. "We heard the scream all the way from the library and- oh my -"

"Ruby! Did you see what happen- _holy mother of sweet milk heated over a spit._ "

Yang, drenched in sweat looked up.

She threw a thumbs up, placed on her shades, and passed out.

Weiss, her sanity gone from this world, was slumped over the bed with a tiny bit of a pineapple peeking out from her butt.

She didn't feel like eating the pineapple when she woke up.

 _Yang x Pineapple x Weiss Fin_


End file.
